Not all stories have the great endings we all hope for. The boy doesn't always have the great epiphany that he loves the girl. He doesn't jump out of a cab that's stuck in traffic, and start racing down the street to catch her at a party, to admit his undying love to her. These things only happen in the movies. In real life, you tell your best friend, "I love you, and not in a friendly way,". He has little to no reaction. Life continues as it always has. As if nothing was even said, and your words meant nothing to him, because they didn't. Because, he loves you, just not like that.
Then one day he says he's moving. This is the big ending to the movie. His big goodbye is when he jiggles you in your sleep, and tells you goodbye and he'll call you soon. Like I said, Not all stories have great endings.
Now I sit here in my big empty apartment, and I think about all of that time I wasted. I feel awful for the boy I dated. How he didn't stand a chance, because I was hoping for some kind of movie fantasy that was never going to happen. I feel bad for any guy I was dealing with, because I just kept hoping I would get real feeling for them. I kept hoping I would give up the ghost. That I would like them so much I wouldn't care about my best friend.
Maybe he just needed to leave. It's nice actually. I'm not holding on to this silly dream anymore. To this hope that he was ever going to look at me in that special way. That's a horrible feeling to live with. It's a terrible feeling to come home too. It's not fun to read into every gesture and cuddle, and hope that there's more there. when deep down, I knew it was nothing.
For the very first time in a long time I can allow myself to be open, I can maybe meet someone I like, that likes me back. There won't be any blockage. That's really exciting. I actually have someone I really like right now. It's just nice to like someone. I don't know what the ending will be? But I hope this one will have a happy ending.
Then one day he says he's moving. This is the big ending to the movie. His big goodbye is when he jiggles you in your sleep, and tells you goodbye and he'll call you soon. Like I said, Not all stories have great endings.
Now I sit here in my big empty apartment, and I think about all of that time I wasted. I feel awful for the boy I dated. How he didn't stand a chance, because I was hoping for some kind of movie fantasy that was never going to happen. I feel bad for any guy I was dealing with, because I just kept hoping I would get real feeling for them. I kept hoping I would give up the ghost. That I would like them so much I wouldn't care about my best friend.
Maybe he just needed to leave. It's nice actually. I'm not holding on to this silly dream anymore. To this hope that he was ever going to look at me in that special way. That's a horrible feeling to live with. It's a terrible feeling to come home too. It's not fun to read into every gesture and cuddle, and hope that there's more there. when deep down, I knew it was nothing.
For the very first time in a long time I can allow myself to be open, I can maybe meet someone I like, that likes me back. There won't be any blockage. That's really exciting. I actually have someone I really like right now. It's just nice to like someone. I don't know what the ending will be? But I hope this one will have a happy ending.
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