Why Can't I Love you?? Why don't you want me?

Do you ever have that friend that is perfect, but you don't want to yadda yadda?

They make you laugh so hard you want to piss yourself, You can say anything to them and they will never judge you. You could hang out with them anytime and never get tired of them. They also happen to be a member of the opposite sex, and for some reason you just don't find yourself sexually attracted to them at all. This sucks balls!! I think also, because, I think I'm one of those people, to a great many men. I'm that girl you're too comfortable around to want to put your penis in. Or, or!! worse, you can put it in me, but, then you still just want to be buddies. Girls don't do this really, if you're my bud, you're just my buddy. If, I want to bone you? I'm hoping for more...at first. Then, at some point I kill off my emotions, giving up hope that you'll ever like me "like that".

Anywho, I have some guy friends that are way too awesome, and I just couldn't. Like, perhaps it's because of the fact that they are so awesome, and kind, and fucking funny. I wouldn't want to ruin that. I wouldn't want to take that away. I don't know? What I do know is, the lady that does end up with any of these guys, better be the most amazing girl in the world. The honest truth is, I'm the only girl that's good enough. But, I just couldn't go there. I couldn't ruin what I have with them. So, Unless they are as great as me...I'm kidding, but, I will kill for these guys. I just wish I could find someone half as great, but, I was still attracted, and they were still attracted to me, and also, Not my best friend. I gotta move past that little hump. (The one person I'm in love with, the one friend I would bend over a stove, I just shouldn't go out with ever...Because, he is an asshole, and I know this about him, and yet, I don't care. He's not an asshole to me, just all the women he dates. It's better to be his best friend, and not his girlfriend. He would only cheat on me and break my heart. You can't tell your heart how to feel. because, then I would tell my heart she's an asshole!!)

Stalking at the Wash

There's this guy I've been stalking that comes into the laundromat. He started coming in about a month ago. He's good looking, but, in that totally awkward way, which I love. Tall, looks a little like Demetri Martin. He's a converse shoe wearing guy. I think he's a nerd, but, like a sexy nerd. So, I'm sure he's good with the ladies, because, chicks dig nerds. He's good-looking in that non-threatening kinda way. But, he does really odd things, like odd...I guess, because, it's just him. Like, where I work, you can pick out whatever movie you want while you do your wash. (If your a launder and linger...some people are launder and leavers.) He's not, he hangs out and does his shit there, but, he always picks out...Romantic movies...huh? Right!! Odd, for a guy. I totally want to give him shit, but, we don't have that kinda rapport. But, he reads really good books. I mean, he's not walking around with a copy of "The Notebook".

That's not all!! He also still uses a walkman, not a diskman people, but a walkman!! Like he makes mixed tapes. I'm a little weirded out, and a little turned on. He's always wearing this ugly army jacket, and looking all broody. But, then the romantic comedy's? I don't get it? I seriously want to take this kid in the back room. I do!! I have really naughty fantasies about him.

Like the other day he was in here doing his laundry, and I imagined I walked up to him with a note that said "back office, five minutes" Then he came in, and I like pushed everything off the counter and we just started going at it. Clothes flying everywhere, kissing, touching, slapping, like the movie The Secretary meets the movie The Postman Always Rings Twice, but, in a laundromat...so wrong, but, so right.

Yet, this kid doesn't even know I exist. What a douche! Oh well, doesn't hurt to stalk.

Feel sorry for you

Braylon brought over a new girl, and I really like this one. Which, honestly, isn't a good thing, he never dates the ones I like. You know, the ones with personality, pretty, easy to talk to. He keeps around these girls that are like brown blobs of pretty, I mean, they are totally hot, don't get me wrong, but, not much else going on. They're "nice". But, I would shoot myself in the head if someone called me nice. Then he brings over these girls sometimes that are like really pretty, smart, and funny. Like, if I were gay, i would want to totally be their boyfriend. I actually want to continue to hang out with them, and used to try, but, it became a little too odd. So, now, I just am nice enough to them, but, know that the cool girl won't be coming around a lot. But, the lame super hot girl with no personality. I'm gonna have too enjoy her lovely company for the next two to three months.

This girl was so great though, she was really funny, and liked all the same books I liked, and Braylon for that matter. She loved the Simpson's. She liked Hockey, and Braylon loves Hockey, although, when she was talking about it, he seemed non-responsive. I don't get it. She had an awesome knowledge of 90's music, like Blessid Union of Souls, Adina Howard, Coolio, Blackstreet, Dishwalla, Everything but the girl...I mean, Come on...I say keeper! for trivia night alone! But, after she left, he was like, ehhh? So, You wanna go see a movie or something? Like, he was over it already. The girl I thought was the dream girl, he didn't even consider. I just don't get it. I mean, a part of me is happy, but, a part of me is like, if you aren't going to love me, then at least have a killer girlfriend. He's always dated these boring ass girls. Well besides, The girl we do not speak of. Which I assume is why he does the safety dating. Better to be safe than heartbroken.

Maybe that's why I date loser assholes, because, at the end of the day i can say...Well he was an asshole. I'm never going to really get hurt either. Two assholes in an asshole pod. Pot calling kettle asshole. I don't know what I'm saying?

On a side note: I started taking random classes, and I see my teacher every morning go into the bathroom with a Newspaper...he's in there for a really long time. I just don't know why he can't take his morning shit at home? Maybe he has a porn mag wrapped in there and is jacking off before class, like that relaxes him. I mean, he always seems really relaxed. He's a great teacher. I'm just curious.

If I had a boyfriend?

If I had a boyfriend, and not just men I had sex with, I would take them to go see the great and sexy Michael Cera in this movie. It doesn't really matter, I'm gonna totally go to the screening with my best friend Braylon. It's like the only bonus to him being a projectionist. Also the free movies. Then we can sit by each other, as he mocks me and squeezes my thigh really hard, then I cream myself. One, because, I'm watching Michael Cera. Two, Because, my best friend is touching me. He touches me a lot, he just doesn't know it makes me feel naughty. So wrong, but, so right. Why doesn't he love me? I need pudding right now, chocolate pudding. Kozy brand, like a tub of it. Fucking A!! Praise Jesus!!
Michael Cera needs to find me and hump me!!